Will you come to bed with me?
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this sentence.
I teach people to relax. It seems that the gift that has been given to me is to send people to sleep. After teaching a Yoga class and giving my yogis a lovely down-time session, one of the first things people say is… ‘will you come to bed with me?’
I look at them sweetly and they suddenly realise what they have said, after they stop being all flustered, they tell me how much trouble they have falling asleep, or going back to sleep after waking at 3am, and they relax so easily with my voice.
I was once rung in the middle of the day by a stranger on the other side of the world who was suffering 3 days of jet lag, they had been told I could put them to sleep… yep, nighty nighty.
After teaching a class I would go home at night and my son would say ‘will you come to bed with me?’ We were still recovering from a very troublesome time since his birth, and we got into the habit of sleeping together, as he had to sleep upright, so I held onto him.
We all do what we have to do to get by, but times change and we don’t have to hold onto these habits, unless they continue to be what’s right for us at that particular moment. I have now taught him his own relaxation techniques, so he is comfortable sleeping by himself. He still has troubles waking up at night, and we are currently doing the exact techniques I am going to teach you. Here’s hoping it will set him up for the rest of his life, just as it has with my eldest.
So, will YOU come to bed with me?
Will you come into a safe, lovely, relaxed place and let go of all of the day’s tension and soften your body so that it drifts off into a peaceful dreamy place, giving you a full night’s blissful rest?
Or will you stay up late having rushed home to scoff down your dinner, have a few wines pretending to relax while you watch gut wrenching news and checking your accounts on your phone while acting as if you are listening to your kids read and do their homework?
Will you come to bed with your laptop and check emails one last time before settling down to sleep with a tired, tight, stressed-out and sore body, already thinking about the next day and having everyone in your head, from your boss, to the hairdresser, to the kids teacher, chatting to you?
Will you have found a way to eat at least 3 hours before bed, stop drinking and screen time an hour before bed, have no electronic equipment in the bedroom to disturb your sleep patterns, have a darkened room, and (hopefully) everything in order for the next day so it’s a peaceful morning?
Your body is relaxed and ready for sleep. The kids have done the same thing, because they will be following your lead, and they are already peacefully asleep, giving you and your partner some much needed cuddle time.
Is this laughable for you? Can I hear you gigglesnorting from here?
Let’s sort this life out before we realise that each day has passed and it’s exactly the same as the previous day, and suddenly you’ve had 20 years of crappy sleep deprived stressed days and nights, which turn into illness or disease, or already has.
Stress has been part of my everyday life for many years; I seem to be wired that way. You know those people that are all chilled and relaxed, you know, they sing in the shower and tell you to ‘just get over it’ when you’re suffering depression?
Well, I’m NOT one of them, I’m jealous of them.
I’m the person that people tell me to
‘stop thinking so much,’
‘stop analysing everything,’
‘stop being stressed, you’re making your baby worse.’
I had my first stress related operation when I was 10 months old, since then I have had so many, the specialist told me he can’t operate anymore and I’ll have to cope with it with morphine for the rest of my life. That was 7 years ago.
No-one ever bothered to tell me ‘how’ to stop thinking, or analysing or stressing.
Except for now, I’m going to tell you, because I’ve learnt how to.
It wasn’t an easy path for me and I want to help make it a little smoother for you. I’ll teach you to recognise your stress and what to do with it. I won’t be able to stop stressful situations coming up in your life, but I’ll give you the tools so you can choose how to react to that stress and how to help your kids deal with this ever increasing manic world that we live in.
I have taught hundreds of people, from all walks of life, and I know with these simple proven techniques that we will learn together, you will be able to create a calmer, happier life.
So when my specialist gave me that beautiful (not) piece of information, I had to have quite a bit of wine and it sent me into a dark place in my head for quite some time. I started to reassess ALL of my life at that stage. I realised that only I could change things if I wanted to. I can happily say that I haven’t been back to hospital since that appointment.
I’m going to give you a number of techniques that I have researched, trialled, failed, tried again, tweaked and changed to fit into a busy parent’s lifestyle.
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